Disaster in Progress: The Wedding Night
by Panthrax
Summary: Aang is going to get maried with Katara... only one problem though... The monks never taught him what happens during the wedding night, panicking, he askes advice of Sokka, Zuko and Iroh... mightn't be the best idea he had... rating only to be safe
1. Asking Sokka for advice isn't good

_I just couldn't help it..._

_One day, on a coffee-rush, i found myself wondering if the monks ever taught Aang the wonders of physical love (to put it gently) then i came up with this :P_

_the chapters will stay short, and ends with the wedding night itself... at that point, the rating will be up to M, but no graphic details or anything, its more to be safe then anything else..._

_I hope you all will enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it..._

_xxxx_

_ **Chapter 1: Asking Sokka for advice isn't good**_

_It was four years after the war ended. But Aang was about to face a even bigger problem. In exactly five days, he'll be married. He loved the thought of Katara becoming his wife... however, he feared the wedding night. The monks never said ANYTHING about that... Sure, Aang knew where babies came from... sort of... but it was more the deed that freaked him out._

_"Erm... Sokka... can I talk to you?" Aang asked his future brother in-law, rubbing the back of his bald head akwardly. _

_"Sure Aang, What is it?" Sokka pulled back the chair next to him, and motioned the avatar to sit down._

_they where at Iroh's tea shop, who decorated it lovely with all the national colors: The walls were made of a reddish wood, green carpet decorated the floor, and blue and grey wall decorations where sported on the walls. The tables where painted a faint green with red tablecloths and blue candle-holders._

_Aang looked around in awe. "He's really outdone himself didn't he?" he said, more to stall then anything else._

_"Yeah, he pretty much has... but you wanted to talk to me?" Sokka asked, becoming serious._

_"You know I'm going to get maried soon, don't you?" Aang asked feeling uneasy._

_"How can I not, you're going to marry my sister!" Sokka exclaimed enthousiastically._

_"Yeah... about that..." Aang scratched his head again, and wondered how he would bring it up._

_"You don't have second thoughts, now, do you?" Sokka asked, looking at Aang with raised eyebrows._

_"No that part's great..." Aang said quickly. "Its just that... well... after we're maried..." _

_Sokka nodded in understandment. "look... I know Katara can be a real pain sometimes... but I asure you that..."_

_"No not that," Aang cutted Sokka off. "I mean... the wedding night," he whispered the last part and became scarlet._

_"What about it? seems like the best part of mariage to me..." Sokka said, bemused._

_"Well... its just that... the monks never taught me anything about it..." Aang became more and more uncomfortable._

_"Well, they're monks..." Sokka sighed. "Look, you love her, right?" _

_Aang nodded. "more then anything," _

_"Then what's the problem... just do what your feeling tells you to do, and do it gentle," the last part sounded somewhat threatening. _

_Aang sighed, he knew he should've gone to Zuko in the first place. He stood up. "Thanks for your help Sokka, I appreciate it," _

_"You're welcome," Sokka smiled, sipping his tea contently. _

_Aang sighed again as he left the tea shop. The wedding night was going to be a disaster, he knows it..._


	2. Asking Zuko For Advice Is Even Worse

Okay, maybe the chapters will be larger... (who's complaining?)

I had fun writing this... really, I had...

I also want to thank my reviewers for the wonderfull reviews, without them, writing will become just very slightly more boring... reviews can inspire a writer and encourage them to write more... (hint-hint :p)

I'm also sorry that the last chapter was short... I read it over and over, and I really can't add anything, without ruining Sokka's character...

enough with the boring writer's anouncements.

Ow, and my disclaimer...

IF I really owned Avatar, would you think I would be writing fan-fiction? NO! then I would be writing actual chapters...

* * *

_**Chapter 2: Asking Zuko For Advice is Even Worse**_.

Aang looked at the Fire Nation Rayal Palace with a heavy heart. He took a deep breath and walked up the stairs towards the heavy red with gold trimmed doors, which stood open and where flanked by two guards.

"Avatar Aang," they both exclaimed and bowed deeply. "Its an honor to be in your presence," the left guard said breathlessly.

"Is the Firelord home?" Aang asked, becoming nervous.

"No sir, he went to visit Ember Island," the second guard said with a bow.

"I guess i'll meet him there... Stay flaming!" Aang turned around and descended the stone steps towards his bison.

"He's not home buddy," Aang said quite cheerfully, patting the giant bison's head. "Looks like we'll have to go to Ember Island,"

The bison roared and pressed his huge head against his master.

Aang used airbending to jump on Appa's head. "Yip yip," he yelled as soon he grabbed the leads. With a roar, the bison took flight.

"I hope Zuko is better in giving advice then Sokka... What was I thinking to go to him in the first place? He's her brother... and I asked him how to... erhm... make love.. with his sister... His sister!" Aang sighed. "I really love her, buddy... thats why I went to Sokka... thats why I'm going to Zuko... I want it to be perfect..."

The bison growled softly. Aang patted his head. "Pity you can't talk... I bet you would be great at giving advice..."

The journey towards Ember Island took slightly less then two hours, and all that time, Aang pondered on how he could best approach the subject. It was very important that Zuko didn't freak out...

The sun was setting when Appa landed in front of the palace, making it more beautifull in the reddish light. Zuko had restored the palace to its previous glory. A magnificent fontain of two entertwined dragons clattered in the courtyard. The palace was painted scarlet, with golden trimmings on the doors and windows. The roof sported a gigantic dragon, painted blue. And countless of exotic plants and flowers decorated the yard.

"Aang! What a surprice!" The voice of Zuko chimed through the courtyard, making Aang jump slightly.

"Greetings Sifu Hotman," Aang said, bowing the way that was proper in the Fire Nation.

"Don't call me that," Zuko said irritably, but smiled nontheless.

"I'm not interupting anything, now, am I?" Aang said uncertain.

"Of course not, Mai is at the beach with Ty Lee..." Zuko said reasuringly.

"Is everything alright?" Zuko asked waringly. "You look a little... lost..."

"Can we talk? Its important..." Aang said, wringing his hands.

"'Course..." Zuko led him towards the sitting room, which was lovely decorated in red, green and blue.

"Mai's pickings?" Aang asked with a grin.

"Actually, no, if I let her decorate the place, everything would've been black or grey..." Zuko said with a mocking expression.

"Iroh..." Aang said with a loving smile.

"yeah... I freaked when I heard that he would be in charge... but it turned out nicely," Zuko said with a sly smile, sitting down in one of the comfortable red armchairs. "So... how can I help you?"

"Erhm... Its kinda embarrising..." Aang said, becoming nervous again. He sat down on a identical chair and started to fumble with his shirt.

"Its just... The wedding is only four days away and I don't have a clue how to... you know..." the airbender blushed furiously and adverted his gaze towards the soft-blue carpet.

"You're not having second thoughts now, are you?" Zuko asked in a warning tone.

"No!" Aang said quickly. "Not at all... I can't wait for the day that I can finally call Katara my wife," he went on with a dreamy look on his face.

"Its just... well... you know... the night after the wedding," the last one was barely over a whisper.

"You mean the wedding night?" Zuko exclaimed, looking like he was going to panic.

Aang nodded. "The monks taught me a lot about anything... and I'm glad they did, couse otherwise I would make a lousy Avatar. But I was only twelve when I fled the Southern Airtemple and then I was frozen for a hundred years, so no-one ever got to teach me how to... urhm... reproduce... Which is important for so many things... you see, when I'm not doing that, there will be no airbenders after me, and the cycle of Avatars would be broken... so its not only important to me, but the fate of the world depents on it," Aang rambled.

"The fate of the world depents on your lovemaking with Katara?" Zuko asked, baffled.

Aang nodded hysterically. "So, would you help me?"

"Well... erm..." Zuko scratched the back of his head, obviously embarrased. "How am I suposed to help you? I mean, its not like I'm going to show you how its done,"

"That won't be nessecery," Aang said, looking horrified. "I just want advice,"

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose, thinking deeply. "Well... Its... erm..."

Aang looked at Zuko expectedly.

"You love her, right?" Zuko asked, looking fiercely at Aang.

"With all my heart," Aang nodded.

"Well, then... just do what your feeling tells you to do..." Zuko said, like it was obvious.

"Thats what Sokka said, and it really didn't..."

"You asked Sokka for advice? What are you? Mental?" Zuko shouted, cutting Aang short. "You're lucky that he didn't nudered you! What were you thinking?"

Aang bowed his head in shame. "I know,"

Zuko sighed deeply. "You know, I thought you were smart..."

"He wasn't mad or anything... actually, he seemed quite cheerful that I went to him..." Aang tried to explain.

"And he said the same as I did?" Zuko asked, concerned for some reason.

"Exactly the same," Aang confirmed.

Zuko sighed again. "Okay... you see... when you're in the bridal chamber... she will go to change into something more...erm... seductive... and when she comes out... just compliment her... say that she looks great and that you're happy to be the one she married... and then, when she walkes towards you, you place her on the bed... gently! And after that... well... it'll become clear what to do next..."

"No it won't, I won't be here if it was clear what I have to do..." Aang shouted out.

"Listen, just be gentle, and let your feeling guide you... I can't give you better advice then that..." Zuko said softly.

"I guess its better then nothing..." Aang said sadly, standing up. "I love what Iroh did with this place..." Then it hit him... the person of advice-giving... Iroh! Aang started to smile broadly. "I really have to go now..."

Zuko looked confused, but nodded. "I see you at the wedding then..."

"Bye Zuko, and thanks for the advice," Aang bowed and walked out of the castle.

"What was I thinking?!" He shouted as soon Appa was miles away from Ember Island. He would go to Iroh first thing in the morning, and he prayed that he had better advice then Zuko and Sokka together, otherwise... his wedding night will be a disaster!

Next is Iroh... and we all know Iroh and his advice... (Thats all I've got to say to it :p)

thanks for reading xxxx


	3. Askin Iroh for Advice:Translation Please

Firstly, I want to apologise for the spelling and gramar... I used to have a very good program for it, but my uncle stole it from me!! :p

secondly, the rating is going up to M, only and ONLY to be safe... I have no plans on making lemons (not in this fic anyway) but I also don't want to be banned for having a wrong rating...

Normally I wouldn't update 'till friday... but since all the wonderfull reviews... I just couldn't keep you guys waiting (see what a review can do? see? huh huh :p)

but I have to admit that it kinda scares me howmany of you know whats going to happen...

anyway, hope you'll enjoy this chapter as much as i enjoyed writing it, and the next chapter should be up before the weekend...

* * *

**_Chapter 3: Asking Iroh for advice... can someone translate him?_**

Aang looked at the Yasmin Dragon Tea Shop whith a mixed feeling of despair and exhaustion. If Iroh failed in givin him decent advice, he could kiss a perfect wedding night goodbye, and he had no plans in doing that. When he opened the door, he found the thea room strangely empty, except for the aging man he grew so fond of, sitting at a table with two steaming cups of tea. The room was lit by several candles, which gave it a faint gloom and made shadows on the walls. Aang walked towards Iroh with a heavy knot in his stomach. The old man smiled brightly at the sight of the Avatar, and gestured towards the empty seat in front of him, motioning him to sit down.

"I was expecting you, young Avatar," he said with knowing eyes.

"You were?" Aang asked, taken abback.

"Yes, both Sokka and Zuko informed me about your... problem," Iroh said softly, sipping at his tea.

"I must say, its delightfull that you went through all this trouble, just to make it special for her, and I do respect that," The ritired-general nodded his head, and took another sip of his tea.

Aang bowed his head. "I hope you can help me, I wouldn't know what else to do..."

Iroh nodded. "Neither of us is going to leave this room untill I gave you the advice you were searching for," he said solomnly.

Aang nodded, unsure what to say next. He took a sip of hot ginseng tea and waited.

"You see... lovemaking... its like creating art... never can you make twe the same, and the more emotion and devotion you put into it, the more beautyfull it will become," Iroh looked at the young airbender, as if he wanted to see if Aang understood what he said. When the Avatar nodded, he went on. "You can look at it like bending the four elements... you need to bend air first, making sure that there's no tension whatsoever between you... then you continue with waterbending, all the worries and doubts should be shed... then there's earthbending, making the love steady as a rock... trust en reasurement is important for the two of you, without that, the balance is off and you won't be able to continue... then as last, there's fire... it stands for the passion and love which will entertwine the both of you during the whole process..."

Aang looked simply lost by the time Iroh finished talking.

Iroh sighed slightly. "You can't have the perfect wedding night as long you keep worrying and doubing yourself... you need to let those feelings go, you know you love her, and you know that she loves you... that should be enough,"

"I really appriciate all of this Iroh, I do... but my problem is not wether I'm confident enough... the problem is more... well, how do you know when its time? That you're sure that you wont hurt her?" Aang asked, taking another sip of tea.

"I see... Its more about the deed itself," Iroh stated, as if he was discussing the weather, and not the most important night of Aangs life.

"I don't know anything about that..." Aang said, feeling a blush creeping up his bald head.

"Hmm," Iroh took another sip and looked judgingly at Aang. "Fine then, I'll tell you about the art of lovemaking... Its like making tea actually..."

Aang resisted the strong urge to smack himself on the fore head Sokka-Style, he knew this was coming...

"you see, firstly, you have to make sure that the water is hot enough... secondly, the amount of tealeaves is also important... if you add to manny, the tea will be to strong... hurting the tea-lover... but if you don't add enough, the tea will be weak, and not drinkable..." Iroh explained with a glint in his eyes.

Aang couldn't help but thinking that Iroh was way to obsessed with tea for his own good. "What are you trying to say?" he asked polite.

Iroh frowned. "I hoped that I was clear enough..." He coughed uncomfertably. "You see, it is utmost important for her to be ready for you..."

"How do I do that?" Aang interupted.

"Well, every woman has a special place between their legs, when you found that place, and touch it right, she will open up to you as a lotus," Iroh tried to explain.

"I can't just ask her to open her legs so I can search for something that's probably smaller then a ratbeetle eye," Aang exclaimed.

"Its not hard to find... and trust me that she'll help you find that special place," Iroh tried to reasure, refilling his cup. "Now, when she is ready, you'll have to be very gentle when you go inside of her... you can't just ram it in and get it over with..."

Aang nodded, finally something he understood!

"But I'm afraid I have to say that you will hurt her at the beginning... that's why you have to be gentle... like water adjust itself when you pour it into a cup, she will adjust to you, but you'll have to give her the time she needs... don't go further until she gave sighn of approval..." Iroh said, looking the airbender in the eye. "Let her decide howmuch leaves you add in the steaming water... and let her decide when you can serve it,"

Aang nodded, although he didn't had a clue of what Iroh was telling him.

"When you only drink the tea of thirst, you won't find the pleasure it can give you then when you drink it because of the taste," Iroh went on.

"I really hope that I've helped you, I wouldn't know what else to say..."

Aang nodded and stood up. "Thank you Iroh,"

"No problem," the retired general smiled, standing up also. "Just let your worries go, and you'll be fine," Iroh hugged the Avatar fatherly.

Aang stepped outside and let himself fall against his bison. "What am I going to do now?" He sighed deeply. "Who else could I possibly ask for advice? You know, if this wasn't for Katara I would've asked her... but since she's the reason that I need advice... I cant ask Roku... can I?" Aang frowned.

Appa gave a soft roar and pressed his head against Aang, who patted the bison and looked at the surpassing people, wondering what to do next.

So, thats for Iroh...

The next "person of advice" is a surprise for all of you :p

after that person, there will be one more, and then is a chapter of the wedding, and a chapter of the wedding night (no lemons!!)


End file.
